How to spend your spare 80's money

One of the things about the 80's is that there were a lot more things than there had been. People need there to be   a lot of things because they had to buy a lot of things. Once people had bought all the things there were then they had to make some more things so that people could buy them.

One of the things that was made so people could buy was the Mobile Telephone.

Picture the scene, you're in a rush. Zurich have been on your tail all afternoon about the figures or something and you really need to make a phonecall to move some money around. Maybe you should have thought about that before you booked lunch with your PA. Well, luckily for you can now thanks to the Mobile Phone. It's like a phone... but mobile. This means you can make a phonecall or two on the go, you're too busy to stop, until the battery runs out of course. You sure will look natty too, look at him go. In the future, all businessmen will have one. I can't see any reason why anyone else would need one, what'd be the point of that?

If you still have some money left after buying your Mobile Phone then maybe you could buy one of these SNES things I've heard so much about. They're apparently like some sort of TV thing that you play these games on. There's this one where you're this guy and you have to jump about the place avoiding monsters and stuff, then you go and rescue this princess bird and all is well. Then there's the one with the angry monkey and the one with the pretty blocks. They're all the rage you know. Maybe one day they could find a way to improve on these games but really, any improvement will be minimal.

HAH, not got so much money for stuff now have you? Well spend what you have left on one of these bad boys. What is it? Well it's just kind of a thing, you know. You're supposed to be able to get all the sides different colours, but don't be fooled, you get your value for money right here. You may think that once you solve it all you have is a useless square of plastic but there's a twist, you see. It's not actually possible to complete it, you'll have "entertainment" for almost half an hour before you discover that and pull all the stickers off to impress your mates.

Other stuff you can buy includes:

Cabbage Patch Kids

Disposable Cameras

CDs

A Remote Control

Betamaxes

A Space Shuttle

Some "Computer" thing, no idea what that's about...

So, hope that's helped with your consumer buying needs, if you need any more help, just give me a bell.

Tomorrow, we remain in the 80's and are due to visit the "theory of 25 years" however I could just get bored and do something else. See you then guys

Gonna Party like it's 1980-1989

Hey, if the BBC can get away with having an 80's season, why can't I? There's no reason, I can. That's why I've given this place a bit of the old paint. So, here's for an easy to break promise.

IN THE NEXT 7 DAYS I'LL DO A SERIES OF 5 80's THEMED BLOGS


And why not, I say. Sure I wasn't born and don't actually know an awful lot about it, and the music, which is the one thing I can never talk about on this blog is the one thing I can actually talk about for a length of time. But I'm going to do it whatever you say, you can't stop me.

Blog Blog

I made a post yesterday about robots because I had nothing better to talk about. I did though, that's the thing. I've been planning for a while a blog about blogging. It's a funny old thing. It's just kind of... talking about stuff...

So, you've decided to make a blog. What's it gonna be about? Even if it's "just kind of stuff" then it will conform to one kind of stuff. This one was "just kind of stuff" but it's not at all really is it? It's normally just making light of quite serious things with lots of pictures and stuff. Maybe you'll decide you're going to be brave and go for the whole telling everyone everything about you and your stuff. You then commence the treading of the line between openness and telling people you saw a dog today. People don't care you saw a dog, get over it.

Maybe you''ll be specific though, talk about books or music or even dogs. That'd be fine. If you're doing that, you may have a reduced readership at first but when you get fans they're likely to be fanatical and a little bit weird. They'll probably comment a lot and get angry and love you. The disadvantage of this is that you have to pretend you know what you're on about. You have to use lots of fancy words about things and make references to things most of the readers have never heard of.

Ooh, there's no pictures in this blog

That's a lion.

So you've got a blog, you've started posting on it, what now?

Well, what happens next is that you'll actually start to care about it. Care about it far too much. You may accidentally start using Google Analytics to see who's reading what. If you're using Chrome, you may check it so often that you just need to type in "Anal" to the bar to get it to come up. This will probably amuse you no end. You'll worry if people really like it. You'll get nervous about disappointing your readers. All this while telling yourself you don't care if anyone reads it, you just like writing it.

You'll start thinking of yourself as "a blogger" who blogs. This, you feel, makes you somehow different and more intelligent than those plebs. While they're looking at life thinking "Oh look, there's some life" you see life as things you should probably blog about at some point.

If you're super lucky you'll end up with a blog that people think is amazing. Mark Watson's blog is amazing. In terms of the stuff that grows from it, it's kind of the Agar Blog. You probably know about that though. One last picture?

Jamie Theakston there, I don't think he has a blog.

In conclusion, Blogs are kinda weird.

Got a problem with that as a conclusion?
I don't care.
Hah.

Oh my nelly it's been a while... ROBOTS

It's been so long. It's been... a number of days... you know, between all the days and none of them. My internet was down for a bit of that time and during that time I actually wrote a blog. It's now trapped on another computer (as I got a new one you see, his name's Andrew) and I'll get it off at some point. For now, I'll find something else to talk about... ROBOTS!

Let's talk about robots.

People love robots, robots are awesome. That one's also a tape player, which is useful. Technically, we should be using robots as our bitches by now because we are in the future. We're not though, are we? This is because we've realised that a blender does not need legs. Only when we get so lazy that we need something to go and get the bread out of the breadbin for us will toasters need legs. This doesn't mean we shouldn't try and build one, because, as I may have mentioned earlier, robots are awesome.

In the news at the moment there's been a lot about them trying to see if robots can kill people. Some blokes made a bit of kit that would let a robot know if it was stabbing someone. How tempting would it be to make it think it was a good thing? Or is that just me? Meet my friend, he's called STABBOTRON

There's some other guys who are wondering what would happen if you got run over by Rosie the Robot. They're still doing experiments but I really think I can help them. It'd really hurt.

For now, however, the most we've got to worry about is tripping over Roomba. Roomba's a little bastard, he don't give a damn about pets, he'll make his own bloody way around the room. Woe betide anyone who suggests a better route. Roomba will destroy us all. YEEAAHHH!

I think google and apple should make robots, they could carry your stuff and have apps on. I basically say this because I don't like carrying my books, they're really heavy. If I had a robot he could carry them for me. He'd have 6 legs and be kind of like one of those turrets off Portal. He'd follow me around because he loves me. I love robots, robots are awesome.

Retro robots especially.

ROBOTS NEED LOVE TO.
THEY WANT TO BE LOVED BY YOU.
(That's a Dan Mangan song. Listen to it. Listen to him, he's awesome)
OVERLAP
(That was a reference to the fact that that last bit was in slight overlap with my music blog, which I realise I've never referenced here. It's here and you should pop round, it'd make me happy)